Lately I’ve been observing others and the world around me. What some have done with their lives or what they’ve put out into the world. At least what is visible or what is shared.
One thing is for sure, we are all only privileged to portions of others lives.
Vice versa, as I spend time self-reflecting on so much that I have yet to share. Where recall has the potential for losing the truth in translation.
Then a conversation with my brother came up, about how where we live, molds viewpoints. Where this could be segregated even further, happening within the same city, among different groups of people. That we label and pride ourselves on education documentation and what we do to make a living.
The question started with “What do you do?”
A common question that might be asked when meeting someone for the first time.
I responded with, normally I describe what I am doing at that point in time. For example; I’m on a leave of absence from work, so I am a stay-at-home mom. Where others might reference my career as a welding technologist instead.
But, with either of these two titles I still argue that answering “what, do you do” is a loaded question filled with so many possibilities.
Where, even through my journey so far I still find myself questioning what I have done and my impact on this world. Partly because only seeing one perspective can induce exterior input of potential negativity.
So often do I see the influence of staying positive and not allowing some of those exterior voices to penetrate your core beliefs. I share those same values. But living it is so much more difficult than just saying it.
However, saying it is the start. Believing in yourself and knowing your value doesn’t mean you won’t have feelings of insecurity. The systemic walls that have been built over centuries will take time to break down. Where it will take personal and community development to support the value we have for oneself and others.
I keep reflecting on my experience and even when I know otherwise, I still am so hard on myself.
Knowing that so many feel similarly, I wonder…
Is that feeling, the drive to push for growth?
Is it self-consciousness and insecurities?
Is it an awareness that we are capable of more?
Or perhaps it’s a discovery of valuing one’s perspective.
Starting with your own.
For so long I’ve had it in my mind that the career path I’ve walked was somehow less worthy to my peers.
Why?????
I believe it is because it’s unconventional. I didn’t follow the stereotypical preconceived steps going from A to B to C.
I never have and I most likely, never will.
But that doesn’t change the energy of societal pressures. They are real. I feel it in how I’m sitting here right now judging how I’ve valued or devalued myself for years.
I allowed stereotypes or comments such as,
If you can’t do, teach….
Or
When are you going to get a real job….
Ring in my ear…
The internal struggle of knowing and celebrating all of the things that I have overcome through my journey mixed with these negative connotations creates turmoil.
Perhaps a better choice of word is confusion.
But is it really confusing?
I’ve been recognized in multiple areas, where I’ve gotten to share with people about teen parenthood, trades, my experiences.
I was honoured with the YWCA Women of Distinction – Guelph award. As well as, a nomination for KW Oktoberfest Woman Of The Year. I mean what an honour, the people that were in the same category were doctors and cure makers trailblazing the female impact in STEM. Many if not all the other nominees were twice my age. Some days I almost feel fraudulent being categorized with these amazing women.
But regardless of the awards, nominations or age as proof of value to the community. It really means nothing when you don’t value yourself at the same level.
Where that value has nothing to do with awards or recognition. It comes with understanding that you have impact. That all aspects of your journey play a role in the present and future.
Understanding that the complete picture is far more all-encompassing. In turn creating an inspirational journey. It might not be inspirational to everyone, but it is to someone.
But the key is not to live life to be inspirational.
The key is to just live….
Inspiration is the result of life.
Where I don’t believe you can choose to be inspirational as inspiration is in the eye of the beholder.
But I do believe you can decide to make an impact. Where a part of that stems from how you value yourself. This relates to finding the courage to share one’s story. Everyone’s story is fully unique to them. Where parts of one’s perspective influence without one knowing.
I have had the pleasure and honour to share my welding experience with many people. I have also shared the experience of being a Teen Mom. Yet through these moments there could be more connections and there are definitely aspects where I could share more.
I’m here today working on that.
In the past I allowed those societal boxes to funnel me into one category or another. You can see it above in isolating the difference between my career and motherhood. Lighting the fire to an internal turmoil.
Instead of allowing the whole picture to shine.
No one should feel individually compartmentalized. Yet interesting to help organize thoughts categorizing and funneling things in the name of organization can create calm and clarity. With this and understanding that there’s a difference between compartmentalizing an entire life to organizing the daily routine. But, I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, language really restricts possibilities.
Maybe, that’s also a part of the fear of putting yourself out there. Finding the right words to appeal as inclusive as possible because we are all humans.
We all deserve to be heard, from an audience of one and beyond.
But it’s hard when segregation and systemic influence in our society really hinders our ability and potential. All based on past stereotypical compartmentalization.
Through awareness and freedom of choice we can all do things we want to try, when they appear on one’s journey. Then feel pride of choice and gratitude for the privilege of opportunities. Instead of guilt when it’s Not the thing that society says we should be doing. Where society says it is a good choice.
What is a good choice?
I believe a good choice is something that is right for you. Something that doesn’t physically harm someone else.
Note, that I said physically because we don’t have control of how someone will react to what you do.
Really that has nothing to do with you, also. Jealousy and fear of others’ reactions can sway choices. Often people make choices to avoid conflict or confrontation. All of that is the systemic thumb mentally handcuffing you. Putting yourself in your own head worrying about the external.
Being a teen mom, doesn’t mean I’m not going to be a great mom.
Being a welding technologist working at the college doesn’t make me any less worthy or valuable within the industry.
Receiving an award or recognition doesn’t make you more valuable than someone that hasn’t been recognized.
Having a high-school diploma or less doesn’t make you any less valuable than someone who has a university degree.
Awareness that everything has value will build the foundation.
Moral fibre is an ethical viewpoint for everyone believing everyone is equally important. That doesn’t mean equal portions. It’s about equal value. Not everyone’s going to be the CEO. But as I said in my misconstrued trades article.https://jemsmind.com/misconstrued-trades/
There is no CEO without the collaboration of everyone within the organization and beyond.
It doesn’t matter whether you’re at the bottom of what society would call a career or expectation ladder or the top of what Society calls most successful.
What is success?
It’s the same as value, all housed within the eye of the beholder.
Rich doesn’t equal happiness.
Power doesn’t equal happiness.
Position doesn’t equal happiness.
We are all made up of the same
flesh,
blood,
delicate,
biological.
Time provides us with a sliver of space here on Earth.
In the grand scheme of things a Flash of existence
on an ancient planet.
Broaden your scope.
Look within.
Appreciate what you have.
If you have a hard time seeing what you have,
ask for someone else’s perspective.
So easily can we be lost in this world of ideals.
Appreciate your abilities.
Breath.
BE what makes you happy.
For the energy you possess has an impact.
Your life is inspirational to Someone…
JEMI
Edit – WDI