What Do You Need?

What do I need? 

Is the first question that we should be asking ourselves… I have wadded through life always putting someone else first. Successfully in my Outlook, seen through my privilege now. 

Much of this is accessible through the privilege of never having to worry as a child about food, clothing or housing. My basic needs were provided for. Where I intern learned how to work hard to make money to support those basic needs for myself and children. 

To the point where now it’s my job to be home available creating some stability through this world situation. This is a rare opportunity to take the time to be “in my mind.” 

To unwind…
To find…
Not what others expect us to need… 
Not wants…
What we actually need… 
This is different for everyone…

 
We are all in different places in life and our needs change as we grow, as time passes. 

It’s interesting as perspective also skews what actual needs are. Where many of us overlook our complete health and wellness because of societal pressures. 

What do I mean by that? Basically we prioritise to the expectation. An expectation that is different for each and every one of us. Through our upbringings, our perception, our interpretation of all the experiences… All that pressure often leads to neglect in some area or another. Where we suppress things often pertaining to our own overall wellness to manage all the shoes or hats that one wears… 

We also often prioritise our loved ones ahead of ourselves to make sure their needs are met first. Or at least that’s my experience being a learned behaviour in my upbringing. Where it almost feels unnatural to take care of one’s self first. 

Where a part of that has to do with my perception. For almost equal portions of my life I  have been either considered a child or a mother. Where, many years of my youth were spent as an equestrian / large animal owner. Which places the responsibility of putting your animal first, often, if not always. So it’s safe to say it was natural to place myself second, third, fourth or last for a long time. 

This perception is largely to do with the caring for others. But there’s another section that I’ve experienced in life that for whatever reason I had always  placed above myself. My work ethic always had me prioritise work over family and self. It took years of driving forward working to learn and educate myself through programming. As well as, being employed consistently from a young age. Over my 27 plus years of some kind or another work experience, I had it in my mind that the more you put in, the more you get out… So naturally I put in all of myself. Often being called passionate. 

There is something to be said about how much you put in  and it helping on the return? However, there should also be reference to self-value and self-care to enhance performance and overall quality of life. This is something that I’m still learning as old habits die hard. 

Trending that, last year we started on a journey to reduce waste and remove toxic chemicals from our house. We continue to find ways on that lifelong journey. Realising, in this world where we don’t have much control. We turn to ourselves. To find healthy alternatives from personal hygiene and household products to active hobbies and work to bring us joy.  All of which supports us as a unit and as individuals.

But is all of that what is needed? I definitely believe there is something to it, as all of our moods and overall health has improved from making some changes. But it doesn’t feel like enough. Now that could be the societal pressures speaking. Or it could be that the thing needed most, still has yet to be found and completed?.?.?.

It all comes down to not allowing the conscious mind to intervene in the thought process of what’s needed compared to wants, external influence and our biological chemical composition. 

Something that would hardly cross a mind. We are far too busy with all the things, the expectations… How do you look up from all of that..?.?  Some never do… I spent years grinding to level up… Through it all there were many choices made. William would call those choices sacrifices. Where I choose to perceive them as, choice. Which possibly shows how I choose to cope with some of the hard decisions in life… 

I can tell you, I’m grateful to be able to sit here and have a safe space to explore these thoughts. Allowing me the ability to focus my extremely busy mind. I find journaling helps with this. Seeing a counsellor or medical professional to discuss other options that are best for you is always recommended if you’re feeling a need. A need for clarity, really. Or just to maintain a mindset.

With that let’s bring it back to the beginning and ask ourselves. 

“What do I Need”

For me, I am looking inward to start listening to my body more so than ever. 

What about you?

JEMI
Edit – WDI