Today I take some time to reflect on a series of events that was filled with so much joy, love and community. With a focus on the words spoken. Where our dynamic was never just about two adults. Which is what made these days even more special…
I have been on a roller coaster journey when it comes to relationships. A familiar sentiment to many, I’m sure. When I was younger I was adamant that marriage was not for me. That a piece of paper or a ring is not required to have an amazing life relationship. That two people could willingly decide to be each other’s support person, best friend and partner for life.
However, through my relationships and experiences my perspective changed. I have experienced more than one vanishing act. Which are stories for another day. But provide a slight understanding for the stability or reassurance that myself and children received through a more official union.
With that, I found myself as a single mother again at 30. This time of two beautiful daughters. Daughters that have always been at the pinnacle of my drive on the path of being a strong independent woman. As a single mother I always had strict rules when it came to my children and the introduction of new people. Especially of the romantic type. Where long-term intentions had to be declared to get an introduction. This stood when I was a single mother of one also. But sometimes the universe has hard lessons in queue.
I am a firm believer in prioritizing children’s mental health. Where the ringama roll that can come with relationships and breakups is confusing enough for an adult. All the more reason that the children don’t need to be unnecessarily subjected to. People, especially children thrive on stability and routine.
So it’s understandable that my now husband had some obstacles and milestones to meet before having the privilege to get to know my children. Truth be told, stepping into two young ladies’ lives and taking responsibility for them with me is probably one of the hardest but most respected endeavors of William’s life.
Where today a few days leading up to our third wedding anniversary, I want to thank you, William. Thank you for committing to a lifelong journey together. I know it’s not always easy, the definition of love should be messy. But that’s really what makes it so exciting and worth it.
On August 17th 2018, William and I were legally married at City Hall in a lovely civil ceremony with a select group of family and friends. Then celebrated with a delicious five course meal at a fantastic local Italian rooftop patio. It was an amazing day filled with so much love. But, this celebration was just the pre-party.
We had technically four events accommodating our love and the love we have for our community. This layout provided so much flexibility to our loved ones who traveled from afar. We are so blessed with love. We had people travel from as far as Manitoba, the U.S. and Germany. As well as, the many from all over Southern Ontario who drove for hours to be with us.
So many of the details for our wedding was to accommodate all of the people we love. So often people speak of the day being for them. I agree it was our day, but it was also our day to shower and spoil all of the people we love. Ultimately, it was a celebration of community. Where we planned and created the celebration but they supported.
Our third celebration was the next morning filled with sharing personal vows, giving thanks and remembrance to the ones who could not be with us and of course, a meal together. Where then there was a break in the day for our guests to mingle or explore our city, settle into a hotel or head home. During that time William and I were able to have a stress-free photoshoot together. A trip home for a quick shower and wardrobe change. To heading back to our forth event for more food, dancing, jamming out with the live band and of course an open bar.
Now, today I don’t want to spend too much time discussing the intricacies of the events. Today, I want to highlight the vows shared. The promises and recognitions. The words that we chose to celebrate our gratitude for each other on our celebration of unity day.
Leading up to our event, William and I discussed writing vows and that he wanted to write vows for the children. A beautiful sentiment, don’t you agree? However, when we discussed this for my side, I said that I will not be vowing to my children. I am their mother and it is my duty to love, cherish, honor, celebrate, protect… But I was so excited to share my pride and love for them. As well as, remind them that they are forever loved regardless of what happens on their paths
With this it was never just about two adults… In this moment it was about a man and a woman’s love and their love for their daughters. The girls were 14 and 6 years old at the time. The date was 08/18/18 the day we more traditionally shared our love. To set the stage, William, the girls and I stood together in a beautiful science research facility atrium. The perfect setting for us, as part of its structural design incorporated a giant metal tree. These words were shared, they still ring true today and will be carried with us on this amazing life’s journey we share.
William to Susannah
Susannah, I came into your life at the nexus of adulthood.
I have told you many times I know very little about women.
But your mother and I are united in guiding you to make wise decisions in life.
You are a loving big sister and I am grateful because you are so important in Linah’s life.
Today I am here to commit to you, to do my best as a father and to encourage you to do what you think is best for yourself, not what you think others want you to be.
I’m proud when I see you succeed at basketball and cadets.
I can’t wait to see you blossom into the beautiful woman you are so quickly becoming.
You will always have my love and care. I will continue to work hard so we all will be successful.
(William Inkley)
…
Susannah,
Before you I was lost,
You help me learn what love costs.
I’m so proud of your strength,
It will help you get through all the angst.
Sharing this journey is a blessing,
I wouldn’t be who I am without addressing.
That you put me on the path,
That has led me to spreading my craft.
Live to love and laugh,
We only get one life’s pass.
Please always remember I am here for you.
Whatever is next in store, be true.
Whatever life throws, We can work together.
Any storm we will weather.
From 4 to 5 we grew in size.
7 to 11 was a surprise.
Our family is unique, full of love and support.
Nothing will come between us, you will always have my heart.
…
William to Evangelinah
Linah I am so proud when you call me Daddy, it makes my heart glow.
You have brought so many colours into my life.
The mermaids, the rainbows and of course the Rainbow Unicorns.
You have taught me so many things and we will keep practicing cart wheels together.
I love you and can’t wait to see you grow into a beautiful woman like your sister and mother are.
(William Inkley)
…
Linah,
I am so proud of the little leader that you have become.
Also, Being a calming influence when someone needs a breath, is a skill I hope you keep forever.
Know I will always be here for you.
No matter what, I will always love and care for you.
It fills my heart with joy that you have accepted William for the awesome daddy he is.
You are so special,
You help bring our families together.
You said it yourself, we are all Morris’ now!
Keep being the great little person you are.
Love always and forever.
…
William to Jacqueline
Jacqueline You are my FIRE!
You are the white hot flame that burns passionately in everything you do.
I vow to be the ICE to your INFERNO!!!
Meeting you has changed my life forever.
We joke that I prayed for a woman, and God gave me 3.
However, 3 is a good start, not only are you my love but the beautiful mother of my children.
I vow we will work together to build our dreams and I will share with you the wonders of the world.
With all my love, Jacqueline, you will be my bride forever! (William Inkley)
…
William,
You and me are meant to be.
Through signs the universe gave to me.
I am red when you are blue,
The combinations balance us two.
You are morning, I am night.
You are calm and I am fight.
These opposites take their turns
Creating a Harmony that discerns
A beautiful love between two soles
Sharing, supporting the burdens families hold.
I promise to love, honor and cherish you,
Everyday and after we say I do.
To our family I will be true,
Sharing responsibilities with you.
From now until forever I will be yours,
My Donaldson to you’re Tulo, I’ll always adore.
True words from our hearts. Words that I can still hear him say with a vigor. Words of vowing Love..
Salute, to a lifetime of love, the messy kind…
JEMI
Edit – WDI